I hate flying. Absolutely hate it. It terrifies me. Worst yet my usual stay up all night and asleep before the Abe takes off didn’t work this time. It also happened to be a very turbulant flight to Dallas. My stress level is not pleasant currently as this plane makes its decent- swaying and dipping like a rollercoaster.
To distract myself on this trip I wrote. I listened to my faulty iPod (seriously fuck you Apple- want someone who can truly put your products through a proper testing before you release this shit? Hire me. I work for food), I watched some Modern Family. Such a good show!
I just finished eating at a TGI Fridays in the airport. I have never seen service so fast! Ordered and bam! I couldn’t eat each course fast enough. I was quite pleased until I realized it has nothing to do with customer service but rather the rush to get you out of the fucking seat and sell some more overcooked chicken to the next guy! Now I’m just made i didn’t ask for another cup of coffee. Boo to me.
I found this sweet little lounge. Comfy leather chairs, none of that elistist crap about needing a membership or anything. It’s sponsored by Samsung so the only downside is all the chairside tables have product displays like little celluar museum. Honestly with a three plus hour layover I’d wear a Samsung moo-moo and dance the hula in their honour to keep this chair. I’m editing How Many Days?, writing and charging all my toys for the next leg of the journey. I tried to see if Brad Wigg could meet me for coffee since he lives here and I still owe him a massive (and of course uber manly) hug for the songs in Still Here he provided. Alas he lives a bit too far from the airport to make it work for today. Maybe if I had planned it in advance… But that would mean planning it in advance… Hahaha ya right! That’ll be the day!
So Im looking forward to LA. Lots of people to see. As I get closer I get more excited- but also, sorry to everyone I’ll see out there, no one I’m more excited to see than Lesley- my gracious host, friend and part time accompliss! It’s been about a year since our last visit. Too long.
My second flight was delayed first because the crew was late and then because ground crew forgot to put oil in the plane. Jesus… This isn’t my Neon here… It’s my freaking life! New flight school manual as written by GMB- Chapter One: Lesson One- ALWAYS put oil in the plane before it’s behind schedule so that the pilot doesn’t have to announce to the passengers on board that the plane doesn’t have oil thus scaring the shit out of the guy in seat 30F. Ya that’s right folks, I’m sat next to the engine. FML. My noise reducing headphones are now no more that noise altering good for nothings. There goes my last chance for sleep before storming the castle!
However there is a light at the end of this narrow, stuffy tunnel. Sat next to me is Erin. I’m a plane talker. If someone says hello I’ll talk their ear off during a flight. Anything to distract from my fears and the boredom of sitting here for another… Hmm 2 hours and 43 minutes. Erin was with some people with guitar cases and some guy dressed was to fancy/eccentric to be a regular business man. HAD to be a music rep or manager. I was gonna talk to the band while waiting for the official delay. Remember as a starving artist you gotta introduce yourself to anyone that will listen, even if that means talking to strangers in an airport cause who knows, maybe they need a music video or the business dude is the head of a label and will like my attitude and ideas- ya don’t know til you give it everything you have!
So back to Erin- while waiting for oil to be put in the engine we get talking about what takes us to California. she beats me in cool points instantly. She’s from Nashville and is flying into Burbank because tomorrow night she’s going to be performing in The Tonight Show with… well that guy that isn’t funny and isn’t Conan! But still The Tonight Show! Turns out she’s back up singer for Laura Bell Bundy, an emerging Country artist. They’ve just played the CMAs, Good Morning America and now it’s time for Big Chin himself to introduce late night viewers everywhere. I joke that I’m going to pretend that I’m her brother so I can get backstage and see the ultimate ‘Green Room’ (no offense Clinton and Sarah if I actually find my way there!) to schmooze. See this is a lame joke… But she laughs because in proper context you have to know that Erin is black. So brother I won’t be able to pull off… Not without that Kirk Lazurth makeover from Tropic Thunder!
Anyhow so there you have the latest chapter in my boring ass travel day. My eyes are getting heavy so I might try to sleep. There’s an iPad (funny my iPhone just tried to auto correct ‘iPad’- jeepers Apple get with it. Seriously) I’m the row in front of me. I was unaware one if it’s functions was as a Mini Sunto annoy the piss out of those around you on a dark plane. Hmmm… Anyhoo… Attempts shall be made to chase unicorns and cuddle Miss Portman in the clouds.
Oh! One more thing. It’s sunset yup here above the clouds and since we’re going back in time though time zones the amazing magic hour is there following us… It’s like. Neverending sunset. Tre cool.
Yup. No sleep. My musical stylings today consisted of album play throughs: A Rocket To The Moon, Ra Ra Riot, Goo Goo Dolls, and Angeles and Airwaves. It’s always been rare for me to find a band where I really dig the entire album. Totally rare. Lately however it’s either been a lucky streak or more likely, with downloading and the iTunes craze of ‘singles only’ a band has to up their game in order to get your hard earned money for their music.
I should be writing my film but I hate writing on my phone’s touch screen and if you have anything larger than a netbook and you’re flying coach like I will my whole life… Good luck finding a way to get the screen open enough and getting your elbows back far enough to use the keyboard!
An hour of Modern Family later… I’m flying over Vegas. This is the best part of flying. There isn’t a city from above that looks so bizarre. So bright. Once, about five years back, as I was flying over Vegas there were fireworks. Again one of the coolest moments that sticks with me. Seeing fireworks from above, not being able to hear the sound they make. Wait… Weird… as I typed the word ‘fireworks’ there were fireworks on Modern Family. Double cool. Maybe it’s. Sign that my plane will land with both wheels this time and no emergency rerouting to LAX!
Ok landed safe! Night folks